You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
