Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
