God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
