then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
