she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i think i have herpe
just one?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I see more hoeing in ur future
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