Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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