I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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