You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
