you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
