I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
