i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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