they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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