Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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