Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
