i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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