I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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