Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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