My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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