ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
