absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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