he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
