dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
