It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
