You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
