her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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