My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
