My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Randomize
