The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
