So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
