So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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