Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
