I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i think i have herpe
just one?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
