hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
