What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
