I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
