im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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