We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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