is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
