im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
