it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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