do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize