I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
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I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
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I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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