he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
