In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
