We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
