it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he shaved USA in his pubs
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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