NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
