I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
