I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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