I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
