remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
