Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
