I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
