who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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