I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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