he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize