I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
