3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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