Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
