I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
