i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Randomize
