I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
